Hi, I’m dog supermodel Ebert. You might know me as the guy who taught Derek Zoolander his career-saving Magnum look. I’m here to welcome you to the wonderful world of blog. I know what you’re thinking: How could a dog like me fit in a blog? Haha. Don’t worry, I’m not in the blog! But it’s true that it’s hard to fit all my charm in one post.
The first thing you may notice about me is that I’m really, really, ridiculously good-looking. The modeling agencies say my egg-like head and beady eyes are wildly charming. I have a smile that can flash from ear to ear. It’s so powerful, my smile has been known to save global leaders and inspire world peace. But I also love to have fun—chasing a ball, chewing on toys, splashing in water. I have a natural play-time prance that you could liken to four happy male models having a dance party at a gasoline station. (With orange mocha puppuccinos!)
Despite my really, really, ridiculously good looks, I’m still at APA!, waiting for the best modeling job—that of your forever companion. If there’s anything this situation can teach us, it’s that a dog model’s life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled faces and stunning features, doesn’t mean that we too can’t not wait awhile for our forever homes! I’m pretty sure that there’s more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good-looking, though, and I’ve been finding out what that is.
My trainers have taught me “sit” and “place,” how to wait politely at doors, and how to walk well on leash, which is pretty easy because I just pretend I’m on a runway, having a walk-off as other creatures try to distract me. And like any good dog model, I know how to chill out during a car ride and in a home.
Speaking of a home, I’m hoping my future home isn’t a center for ants, because how can we expect to continue teaching me cool tricks if I can’t even fit inside the building? So the building has to be at least…three times bigger than that. But as long as you’ve got the space, I’ve got the really, really, ridiculously good-looking face that would love to give you kisses as a thank you for giving me that job all dog models covet: a member of the family.